Dec. 22, 2012
Three months today I had to "physically" let get go of my Isabelle. She will forever and always remain in my heart. My arms feel empty and I still feel a bit lost. The pain is still very raw. Everything about my body is telling me that I should have a baby in my arms, even my mind tries to tell me this - but the reality of it all tells me something totally different.
Looking out the window the other day watching the leaves swirl around aimlessly reminded me of how I felt - like those leaves.
This is not going to be a "easy" Christmas for me. I am grateful for Chloe and my loving husband Adam - I am not sure how I would be without them.
This will be my baby's first Christmas in heaven!
Setting up a Christmas tree this year wasn't something I WANTED to do, but knew I had to for my daughter, Chloe. She needed to have that AWW moment when she got to see a Christmas tree all lit up. I decided to set it up while she was napping that way it was REALLY a surprise for her when she woke up - and it was! I am glad now, that my husband drug it out of storage and that I set it up; Chloe just loves to look at it, touch it and tell me what colors she sees. She brings the JOY of Christmas to me.
In my next few posts I will be "backing up" to the day we found out Isabelle had to be delivered.... to catch up so it, my story, our journey will make more sense. It, again, may take me some time but THANK you all for your patience, understanding and for following my blog!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!
