Saturday, August 17, 2013

She's so tiny!

Sept. 17, 2012

The nurses came to my room to take me to see Isabelle. Adam stayed behind to watch Chloe and said that he would go later. So off I went. As the nurses pushed me along in my bed, the ceiling lights passed over my head, I felt the heat set in on my face again. I was afraid I was going to get ill again; hoping it would pass quickly, I really wanted and needed to see my baby girl! 

The NICU doors opened, they turned my bed to the left then again to the right and we stopped. There she was, our sweet Izzy .... she looked SO tiny!  She weighed 5lbs 13 oz and was 18 inches long. 
Izzy's tiny foot prints
All I could do was smile at her, which surprised me, I thought I'd be a basket case! A nurse told me that I could touch her tiny feet, but try not to rub them because for some "preemie" babies it is irritating to them because of their delicate skin, so I held her feet and lightly patted them. What I REALLY wanted to do was hold her close to my chest, cuddle her and kiss her head. I brought our little camera along with me, not sure if I would even use it but a nurse came over and offered to take some photos of my "reunion" with Izzy.  I was a little reluctant, but she knew best... she said that I'd really appreciate the photos later. She was 100% correct! 

Mommy's first look at Izzy
Mommy & Izzy

After looking at her photos over and over, I noticed from the very first picture of her taken right after she was born to just hours later in the photos above, she already had gained weight from fluid retention, but that's my personal opinion. 

I am not sure how long I stayed next to Izzy's bedside, holding her foot, talking to her and just in Aww of her. What I wouldn't have given to be able to stand up and touch and kiss her head that night! I recall the nurses saying they'd better take me back, they must have noticed something before I did about myself. I was REALLY warm and just thought it was emotions or hormones! Well, we didn't even get out of the NICU and I asked for a basin and another cool rag because I wasn't feeling well at all!! I just laid back in my bed, with the cloth on my head and shut my eyes for the ride back to my room. Honestly, I don't even remember going back to my room, or talking to Adam about Izzy or anything. 
The next thing I do recall was when some of the nurses came to our room with another nurse to sit with Chloe, because the flight team had arrived and were prepping Izzy for her flight.  They wanted us to come down to the NICU for the entire process and to see our daughter before she left.  I remember it being VERY late, it seems like it was after midnight, but I am not for sure. 

(As I mentioned before, the weather did not corporate very well the day Izzy was born.  It is why WE could not be life-lined too Ann Arbor, nor could the flight crew coming to get Izzy could take a helicopter.  The life flight crew, as I understood, took a winged aircraft, then by ambulance to the hospital.  This was the way they would ALL go back as well. Our sweet Izzy was going to ride in her first airplane!)

We entered the NICU, this time I was being wheeled straight in and around to the left, so I was facing Izzy the opposite was as I was before, but not next to her bed. This is because the flight crew was there and had the transport isolette that Izzy would be placed in. They worked diligently, buzzing from here to there checking monitors, listening to Izzy's heart, disconnecting this tube or wire and reconnecting it with another. 
This time, and his first time, Adam got to go up to her bedside and talk to her, touch her and let her know we're all here for her and that we love her so. It wasn't easy to watch from afar, nor was it easy to see the tears in my husbands eyes. I remember Adam's back facing me as he leaned on and over the warmer Izzy was in and one of the flight crew members came around to his side and put his arm across Adam's shoulders, giving him encouraging words and support (I am almost that's what this crew member was doing).  Again, one of the NICU nurses was snapping photos and literally printing them off right there for us. I am sure this was an experience they'll never forget as well.  
Daddy's First time seeing Izzy! 

Then Adam came back over to my bed side, and we both could do nothing but watch, cry, hope and pray. It is hard to watch your baby like this. It makes one feel so helpless. Again, another flight crew member came over to us, reassured us that they will take GREAT CARE of her, that's she's in good hands! I can't explain how thoughtful that was, that WE.. the parents are ALSO remembered and cared for by this talented, and special group people. 
Here you can see one of the flight crew members by my bedside
 telling us they are going to take GREAT care of her! 

Transfer to her isolette

After taking great measures and care, they moved Isabelle to her new isolette for her trip to C.S Mott Children's Hospital in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Izzy did not like the transfer very well, so one of the flight crew members got on the phone to someone to give them vitals, and reading of other things going on to get her re-stabilized before they left. There were so many things to look after and watch that if more of one drug was given that in turn would set an alarm of on a different problem then they had to decrease or increase another drug, so it took a lot of meticulous detail, time and care to get it JUST right! Once it was okay to leave, it felt like they left at lighting speed. Izzy was now on her way and my heart and I am sure Adam's as well, went right along with her.

I felt so helpless and wished I could have flown back to Michigan with her! 

1 comment:

  1. I am so proud of you! You are so strong and courageous! Theresa